Sidney just came and threw the box of wipes and a diaper up onto my laptop.

"Are you stinky?" I asked.

"deekee" she said.

WOW! I thought. That would be pretty great if she really was and she didn't like it, I mean that would mean she is getting pretty close to wanting to be potty trained, right? Probably not, but still.

Sure enough, she was stinky. I changed her and then put the diaper out on the back porch to go in the garbage bin. Sidney got mad at me then because she wanted to throw it into the garbage. (see, that's her JOB. She pees, I change it and tell her to put it into the garbage and off she trots to the bathroom to chuck it into the garbage)

Puffy=muscles

I had to buy a new coat for Jonathan because he outgrew his other one. I'm surprised that it lasted him as long as it did. It was a size 3T coat and he IS 5 years old.

Anyway, he was thrilled when we found this coat at Old Navy. He went on and on and on about all of the coat's qualities that he so dearly loved. Yeah, it was annoying.

The other morning when Shannon dropped Porter off at my house, Porter was showing his new coat to Jonathan, so Jonathan got his to show to Porter. Then he said the very best thing I think I have ever heard. He said, "my coat is all puffy on the sleeves. It makes me look like I have big muscles."

I swear Shannon and I laughed for about 5 minutes about that one!

I'll be darned

The other night at dinner Meghan was talking about the election and how they had talked about it in her class at school. She said that all the kids had said they voted for McCain. They she said, "We were all darned that he lost."

Me: "Wait...you were what?"
her: "we were darned, you know like 'Darn it'!"

Me (laughing): "You mean you were disappointed"

her: "oh yeah. I guess that's what I meant."

I'm sorry if you don't get how funny that is to me, but I thought it was pretty great. She describes everything so literally, and this was just one of those times.

Broccoli for President

We went for a walk tonight again. Mike and I are kind of semi-training for a 5K that is the end of the month. Anyway, we got home and in the midst of showering the kids, the topic of the election came up. We went for early voting and took the kids with us, so they know all about it. But anyway, Jenny was telling me that someone came around to their classrooms at school today and they "pretend" voted. I said to her how cool and important I thought that was. Then Meghan walked into the bathroom and said that she voted for John McCain. "Good girl", I said, "I guess we will find out tomorrow who got the most votes". Jenny then proceeded to tell me that "one of the guys was named broccoli".

I swear I almost peed my pants I thought it was so funny.

So, here's to hoping we don't have a vegetable as the President of the United States!

Cocoa- my drug of choice

My favorite conversation of the past week was one that I had with my 4 year old son Jonathan. I was making Zucchini bread and we were talking about the ingredients as I put them in the mixer. I had explained that in the "regular batch" of bread, I would not put cocoa because it would be plain.

Then as I was making my signature Chocolate Zucchini Bread when Jonathan pointed to the baking cocoa and said,

"Do you put the brown coke in now Mom?"

Well, I suppose if I am a fancy druggie then I do.

He kissed and told about it

How can you resist this face? Ha Ha. No really, he can give this one look that will just make you melt. AND...he is only 4!

Today on the way home from church he told Mike, "Dad, I told Halle today that I love her. And she said I love you too."

Mike said, "oh really..."

Then the bombshell,"And then I kissed her."

Later when I was questioning why he was kissing ANY OTHER GIRL besides MOMMY...he said to me, "We kissed, so now we can get married."

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH! I am so Not prepared for this! This is just the sort of thing that I expected from Meghan, not from Jonathan! The problem is that Halle is so stinking cute, no little boy in his right mind could resist her. (I hope she at least told her mom that Jonathan kissed her and that it isn't being found out right now by them reading my blog. I don't even know if they read my blog....)

So yeah, we have a playboy around our house. The excitement never stops.

Wouldn't it be Loverly?

We introduced the kids to My Fair Lady last week on our way to Idaho. I had borrowed the soundtrack from the Broadway version (starring Julie Andrews) from the library and we listened to it in the car. They loved it! Especially Meghan, but then again, Mike and I are convinced that she has selective listening unless what you are saying is actually being sung. Seriously.

So last night, Mike didn't feel like finishing mowing the lawn, and so we went downstairs to our very cool basement and put in the video of My Fair Lady (starring Audrey Hepburn) that I had also borrowed from the library. Now let me preface this next comment by saying that I LOVE MUSICALS. I do. From Oklahoma to the Sound of Music to South Pacific. I am a musical lover. And this movie has by far been one of my favs my whole life also.

BUT....

After hearing Julie Andrews be Eliza Doolittle and sing all the songs....I am convinced that the movie producers of 1964 made a HUGE mistake when they didn't cast her to play the movie version of the Broadway show that she totally ROCKED in. Dipwods anyway. She was superb and I would take that any day over Audrey lipsyncing the songs. Really.

The best part of watching this with the kids though has been their reactions. Well, not even so much as their reactions as to hearing them sing the songs all week long. Even Jonathan was singing "Wouldn't it be Loverly" this morning. And to top it all off.... Rachel is our resident policeman-she is always telling everyone what they are doing wrong- she informed me this morning that "they said Damn on the movie 10 times Mom!" *sigh* I only counted 8 times. Guess I was wrong.

Fruit logic

After picking Jenny up from FIELD DAY at school today, she and I had the following conversation.

Jenny: And then they gave us ice cream.
Me: Oh, I love ice cream.
Jenny: Yeah and it was Strawberry.
Me: Yummy, strawberry ice cream is so good.
Jenny: Plus, it is a fruit so it is nutritious.

HA! I'm not so sure that it is actually "nutritious", but hey, I plan to use this fruit logic as often as I can. Cheesecake WITH cherries on top. Hey! There's cherries. They are a FRUIT! So...it's nutritious! :)

Singing in the shower

My four year old just told me that Zac Efron sings in the shower.

WHAT am I supposed to say to that? I mean, first of all, WHO CARES? I'll tell you who cares...my nine year old daughter that thinks she is 15 and is "in love" with Zac Efron. Gag.Me.With.A.Spoon.

But, alas, I was a good sport and I said to the four year old, "Oh yeah, how do you know (she loves you...oops sorry, wrong topic there) that he sings in the shower?"

"Because Meghan told me so." And that begins the never-ending cycle that occurs at our house of the nine year old giving information and the others believing "because she said so".

Make it stop. Please.

St. Patricks Day broccoli

Yesterday as we drove away from our house to go get Jenny from kindergarten, Jonthan spied the green sign with shamrocks on it that I have hanging on our door. This is what followed:

"Mom, why do you have broccolis on the door?"

"What?"

"Why do you have broccolis on that thingie on the door?"

"Oh, those are shamrocks for St. Patricks Day. They are like pieces of grass with little heart-shaped leaves on them, and people put them on different things when they celebrate St. Patricks Day. Okay?"

"Hmmm. They don't look like grass to me. They look like broccoli."

No more naps!

Yesterday I finally got around to calling the owner/director of the Preschool that all my other kids went to about getting Jonathan in. We talked about how nervous he was and he will be starting in August when the other kids start the next year of school. I told him about this after I got off the phone and in true Jonathan form, he got all whiney and said things like, "No" and " I don't want to go to that school. I want to go to Jenny's school". So I very nicely explained that he can not go to Kindergarten until after he goes to Preschool which he will start after his birthday when he is 5 and it will be so fun, you won't even have to take a nap anymore.

These are the words that he heard:

five , Birthday and No nap

When Mike walked in the door after work, Jonathan immediately rushed over to him and said, " Dad, last night I had a birthday and now I am five and I don't have to take naps!"

Seriously, he is the reason I have gray hairs!

That's a lot Mom!

Some parents read books to their kids at bedtime. Not me. I don't do normal. Apparently.

Jonathan and I started this fun thing a year or more ago. I say,"what do you tell Mommy"?
He says,"I love you 24-5-67". And then I top it by saying a "bigger number" than his. So I say, " I love you 65-9-88", or something like that. Like I said, we have been doing this for a while and he has never really said anything when my number has been weird or anything. Like he is one to talk anyway.

Buuuuut, tonight was different. Here is how it went:

Me: I love you bubba.
Jonathan: I love you 50-80.
Me: Well, I love you 60-80.
BIG PAUSE......
Jonathan: That's a lot Mom!
Me: Yep. A lot.
Jonathan: Good.

These are the moments that make being a mom all rewarding and sweet and hallmark greeting card-like.

Dad Interrupted

Just a few minutes ago at lunch, Rachel asked my husband,"Dad, do you have a website like Mom does"? He told her no and she said,"Well, you should get one." Then Jenny piped up and said, "yeah and call it Michael dot com". I was laughing really hard by now, and Rachel said, "No, it should be Dad Interrupted. Like Mom's only because you're the Dad".

His reaction....oh he just sighed really big.

Walmart makes me poor

So before school this morning, Meghan comes to me and asks, "Mom, are we poor?"

"um, no. We are not poor. Why do you ask?"

"Because, yesterday at school, Prissy (name has been changed) told me she liked my shirt and asked me where we bought it and I told her that you bought it at Target. And she said that her mom said only poor people shop at Target or Walmart."

(Well then, sign me up for food stamps, 'cuz that's where I shop)

"Meghan", I said, "we are not poor and we are also not stuck up."

I hope that just this one time she repeats every word I said. It would serve Prissy and her mom right!!

slobber

Okay, so I just got back from picking up my kindergartener and on the way home I was privileged to listen in on the most interesting conversation. It was very informative and is brought to you courtesy of two four-year olds (my son and his buddy Porter).

Here goes:
Porter: "oh Sidney [my baby], you are so cute. Um, Jana, what is that thing on her lips?"
me: "you mean her binkie?"
Porter: " yeah, she put it in her hand."
me: "yes, she does that sometimes."
Jonathan: "Porter, that is swobber [he can't say the "L" sound]. Right there is Sidney's swobber."
Porter: "where?"
Jonathan: "right there on her tongue. don't touch it. It's swobber"
Porter: "why?"
Jonathan: "we don't touch her swobber. It's yucky. Bluh, bluh, bluh!"
Porter: "okay"
Jonathan: "we only touch our own swobber. like this."(puts fingers in mouth,I assume.)

So there you have it. In case you ever wondered, you should not touch other people's slobber...just your own.

conversations with a 4 year old

Today has been one of those interesting and enlightening days.

As I am helping Jonathan put his shorts on this morning, he pffts near my face.
"Was that a stinker?" I say.
"Hee Hee" he giggles.
"That's not very good manners to let a stinker by mommy, you know" I say.
"But it was a nice stinker" he says.

Well then. How can I argue with that.



Then...not that this next example is a conversation. Just another part of an incredibly humbling day...
I tell him to go get in the car so we can pick up Jenny at Kindergarten. He hurries outside to the garage and it actually takes me a few minutes to load up the baby and get my purse and all that. I get out there probably 5 minutes after him and he is just barely getting in the car. No big deal. He was probably riding his bike or something for that long. I think.

After we get home, I notice my neighbor's name on the caller id. She never calls unless my kids are doing something crazy. Like ringing her doorbell over and over and over. So they can talk to her daughter who is the babysitter. In the middle of the day. On a school day. Personally I wonder why any of my neighbors still speak to me.

Anyway...during lunch, he starts to do the peepee dance. You all know what this is. The hips gyrating and wiggling because the body is trying to force the peepee to stay in for longer than it can. So I say to him, "go in and go potty, please." I even said "please".
And he says, "But mom, I already goed." (We have yet to master past tense, obviously)
"When did you go? I didn't see you go" I say.
"When we were going to get Jenny. I goed on the yellow grass".
"Did anyone see you?" I ask.
"Yea, Brittney's daddy did".

Well...that explains why she was calling me.

What a day!